There are many Mindful concepts to practice. One of the more complex concepts can be that we are not our thoughts. Personally, this concept took me a while to grasp. I remember thinking, “How can this be?”
How are we NOT our thoughts? Over time we develop a sense of self based on many things including how we look, how we feel, who we are in our relationships, what we do for a living, and how we handle failure or success.
Have you ever noticed that voice in your head? The negative tape loop? What does it say? It’s never anything good. You have to be mentally quiet to hear it. It runs in the background of our daily lives, sometimes loud sometimes soft.
When I started practicing quieting my mind and returning to presence I heard it. It was shocking, liberating, and revealing. I was at school in between classes making a dash for the restroom. While in the washing my hands I heard, “You’re not as good as the other band directors.” “Why is it always a struggle.” “You’ll never be as good as them.”
Holy crap, there it was! Loud and clear. I had been stuffing those feelings down not allowing them to surface but low and behold they were brain washing me anyway.
None of those statements were true. I may have “thought” they were true but it was really a fear getting the better of me. Not my reality.
Once you become aware of the negative tape loop you are better able to deal with it. A few minutes after hearing my negative cheer leader, I imagined my hand reaching for a light switch and flicking it down turning off the loop.
I kid you not, it worked! My mind was quiet. I was observing the silence, calm, freedom, of my being!
It didn’t last forever, but long enough to make an impact. Now when the loop or the noise starts back up again I flick the light switch off, and boom I can just be.
So here is the thing social media, advertising, societal expectations, and our upbringing have contributed to the self doubt in our heads.
It is like shedding an ill fitting coat and uncovering our innate self.
I am kind, loving, patient, forgiving, hopeful, funny, creative, encouraging, curious, and spiritual. All of these attributes and more are played out in the roles we take on during our life time:
Mom, wife, daughter, friend, teacher, musician, equestrian, etc.
My challenge to you is to play with this idea. Do you hear your negative tape loop? What is it saying?
Why is it saying that? What deeper purpose does it serve? Is it fear, disappointment, regret?
How can you turn it off? Now, how do you feel? What kind of possibility does this open up for you?
Check out my meditation about this subject. My students love the imagery about hearing and handling their negative loop.
Remember, YOU are an amazing, beautiful, complex being.
And YOU are enough just the way you are.
Gratefully,
Mary