My husband Jay and I recently discovered the show Ted Lasso. We were late to the party, but in our defense, we didn’t have Apple TV. And we are prone to limiting our screen time. Especially, when it seems  hard to find anything we want to watch.

Thanks to the Apple TV free trial, we finally got to dive into the world of “football” with the team Ted coach’s, AFC Richmond.

If you have never seen the show or heard the buzz around why it is different, here’s the jest without any spoilers.

Ted Lasso, despite his own challenges including anxiety, focuses on seeing the good in others and helping them to see the good in themselves.

There are many popular quotes from the show. One of my favorites, because it is a tenant of mindfulness is:

“Be curious, not judgmental.”

Being curious about ourselves, our thoughts and behaviors helps us gain wisdom that ultimately improves how we respond to the world.

This also means trying not to beat ourselves up about stuff.  Judgement can lead to in-action, unskilled decisions, or unhealthy behaviors.  We can make the situation worse or any progress we make, through negative reinforcement is generally short lived.

How do we apply this concept in a super charged and high-risk election?

If you catch yourself judging someone for their beliefs that are different from your own, ask yourself this simple question, “I wonder why they believe that, or said that, or did that.” Whatever it is.

Being curious creates some space emotionally as well. We don’t get caught up in the name calling or the us versus them mentality.

Think of someone you know, not the most difficult person, but someone who can be a bit of a challenge.

Apply this question to them.

I wonder why he/she/they did or said____.

It is possible you may feel that emotional space open inside you. Which is great for regulating your nervous system and emotions if you were triggered by this challenging person. Some compassion for this person could even arise as you contemplate the reason for their behavior.

You might be aware of or forgotten that they suffered a trauma, struggling with mental health, lost a loved one, are in between jobs, or aren’t getting enough sleep.

This curiosity, non-judgement, and compassion is a path to better understanding ourselves and others.

To be clear it doesn’t mean you have to condone or agree with someone else’s actions or beliefs. 

But it does create the possibility of skillful discussion and potential ways forward during a challenging situation.

Remember to practice on yourself.

Notice any negative thoughts if you are judging yourself.

Become curious about why you may feel or act a certain way.

Add compassion, this can be the hardest part for some of us.  If it is hard, what would a loved one say to you compassionately about it. 

Awkward or new?  Could be.  But try it anyway.

Thanks, Ted Lasso!